Back in the USSR—except it’s not the USSR, it’s the United States in 2025, and we just voted out the Democrats. But before we dive into this political faceplant, let’s take a moment to consider where we stood as the votes were cast:

The Economy: The U.S. economy was thriving. GDP growth in 2024 consistently hovered around 3%, a rate unseen in nearly two decades, bolstered by the Democrats’ infrastructure investments, support for renewable energy industries, and manufacturing incentives. The Inflation Reduction Act spurred historic investments in clean energy, creating over 1.5 million new jobs in sectors poised to dominate the global economy.

Crime Rates: Violent crime rates in major cities fell by nearly 7% from their pandemic-era highs, thanks to community investment strategies and bipartisan criminal justice reforms initiated under Democratic leadership. Police departments nationwide saw increased funding for training, mental health crisis intervention, and technology upgrades.

Border Security: Under the Biden administration, unauthorized border crossings plummeted to their lowest levels in five years in 2024, thanks to targeted diplomacy in Central America, increased border resources, and expanded legal immigration pathways. Over 200,000 asylum claims were processed legally through new streamlined systems, reducing the backlog by nearly half.

Inflation: Inflation—a buzzword Republicans wielded like a sword in 2022—was wrestled back under control by late 2023. By the time of the 2024 election, inflation had stabilized at an enviable 2%. Consumer goods became more affordable, and wages had risen faster than prices for the first time in nearly a decade.

Gas Prices: Gas prices hit a 20-year low, averaging $2.80 per gallon nationwide by October 2024. This was due in part to the Democrats’ focus on expanding domestic renewable energy production, diversifying oil supply chains, and avoiding reckless geopolitical conflicts that might disrupt energy markets.

Unemployment: Unemployment hit a record low of 3.2% in September 2024, with more Americans working than ever before. Robust federal incentives for workforce training and trade apprenticeships brought millions of sidelined workers back into the job market. Industries from tech to construction experienced unprecedented growth.

The Stock Market: The S&P 500 reached an all-time high of 5,000 points in 2024, fueled by increased consumer spending, higher-than-expected corporate earnings, and the success of green technology companies. Small-business loan approvals also surged, leading to a wave of entrepreneurial activity across the country.

And then… America voted to tear it all down.

WTF, America. How could we turn our backs on measurable progress for the vague promises of a party that offers soundbites over solutions? For decades, the GOP has shown its playbook: deregulation that enriches corporations at the expense of the middle class, tax cuts that disproportionately benefit the wealthy, and social policies designed to divide rather than unite.

Now, we’re staring into the abyss of 2025, where this is what we can expect from the GOP's rule:

• Cabinet Chaos: A party riddled with scandals and extremism is about to handpick our nation’s leaders. Picture the cabinet filled with politicians whose résumés include defending January 6th rioters, supporting “don’t say gay” laws, and opposing women’s reproductive rights. These are the new stewards of democracy.

• Economic Sabotage: Expect reckless tax cuts for the top 1% that will explode the deficit and necessitate cuts to social safety nets like Medicare and Social Security. Historically, GOP administrations have added trillions to the deficit—$7.8 trillion under Trump alone. We’re about to see it happen again.

• Healthcare Attacks: Republicans have promised to repeal the Affordable Care Act (again), jeopardizing coverage for 30 million Americans. Premiums will soar for families with pre-existing conditions while Medicaid expansion will likely be reversed in several states, leaving millions more uninsured.

• Climate Denial: Say goodbye to investments in renewable energy and climate resilience. The GOP’s embrace of fossil fuel lobbyists all but guarantees a rollback of climate progress. Policies to dismantle emissions standards and renewable energy subsidies will set us back decades in the fight against climate change.

• Reproductive Rights: With the Supreme Court’s rightward tilt, a GOP-controlled federal government could push for a nationwide abortion ban. States that have fought to protect reproductive rights will face federal interference. Women’s autonomy is on the chopping block.

• Social Division: LGBTQ+ rights, racial justice, and voting rights will be relentlessly attacked under GOP leadership. We’ve already seen Republican-led states pass laws to restrict access to the ballot box and ban books in schools. Imagine this agenda scaled up to the federal level.

America, you voted for this. You chose to abandon the steady progress of the last four years for the chaos and culture wars of a party with no cohesive vision for our future. We’ll soon see how quickly the wheels fall off. As the saying goes, you reap what you sow. But this time, we all bear the consequences.